If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
