After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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