I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
