He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
