i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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