we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
