I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
