The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
