Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
farters have to be the big spoon...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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