Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
