also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
