yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
