She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize