remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
