and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
