Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize
