wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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