Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dick very happy bro
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
