i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
