She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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