but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
