Cold hands, warm shart.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize