I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
