I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I have fence marks all over my body
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize