Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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