Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
