I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize