Sponge bath it is.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
