oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
These tits shall not be calmed
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
