i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
