I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
