i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
