actually, I'm a sock model
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
