1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize