We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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