i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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