is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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