i jhust puked up my retainher.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
