you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
