I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
