we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize