omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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