I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
