oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Randomize
