Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
