3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm just crazy horny about you
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
