we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
