we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
why is half of my head shaved?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
