He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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