i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize