Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
no. you can't hotbox the world.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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