seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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