Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
