apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
