we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
