he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
