I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Dick very happy bro
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
