The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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