would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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