Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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